Defiance

The warm embrace of the world
Or the cold embrace of the lonely wind
Through which the still small Voice calls
Which will we choose?

The crowd swells laughter spilling over
Or the quiet path going into the desolate places
Where there is only One who will carry us?
Which will we choose?

How do I turn away these temptations?
Tearing me in two, I cry out
I know whom I want to follow
Where will I find the strength?

So torn, I want to run away from it all
Kneeling in the depths of the valley
My soul cries out in despair of ever
Finding true understanding

Can He be my supply and hope?
Shaking, I reach out, may it be so
Or will I be lost to this world
Trying to find Him in the wrong places?

I am choosing this day and every day
I will sing with the still Voice whilst
The cold wind howls in the dark
The path may be narrow but it is straight

Anguish may pour over me
Tears may stream down my face
But joy will reign in my heart
For I have chosen the truth

The raging storm comes in so quickly
I stumble and fall, I cry out in despair
He is there, bringing me to my knees
Against all logic, peace stands firm

I can’t get up, but there is no need
He is there, shielding me from the pain
When it becomes more than I can bear
He picks me up and wipes away my tear

All because I have chosen, I have called out
Even when it stands against reason
I have chosen to rest in His wisdom
For I have none on my own

Why you might ask?
This makes no sense
I must agree,

There’s no rhyme, nor reason
His love doesn’t make sense
Understanding will never come
But maybe- just maybe hope will.

He gave it all for me and in return
I scorned Him, I mocked Him
His love paid the ultimate price
His desire to be with me overruled reason

So maybe it does make sense
That I would abandon reason to be with Him
He turned away from it to be with me
Which will you choose?

Will you delight in a love that
Has withstood the test of sacrifice?
Or will you wander with the lost
Into the deadly hands of despair?

Will you stand firm against the storm
Dependent on His strength?
Or will you be shattered when the party
Ends with burning anguish?

He will wait for you
His arms are wide open
His desire to be with you
Has defied all reason

Will you defy reason for Him?

O Israel

O Israel, how fickle are your ways
One moment your heart sings to the Lord
The next to Baal do your arms raise
His unashamed love cuts like a sword
Bringing you once again to your knees
To stand by His side fully restored

O Israel, in you I see my own heart
Crying out for forgiveness and mercy
But when I receive it I turn to depart
I flee to the uttermost parts of the sea
But even there I am within His reach
He holds me so that I may find jubilee

O Lord, give me a heart after Your own
That I may never stray again as did Israel
For with Your son’s blood did You my sins atone
I strive to cling to You on my own but to no avail
Only You can hold me with such strength
That no thief’s trickery may prevail

O Israel, which way will we run?
In His everlasting arms will we rest?
Or will we be lost in this world undone?
O Lord, hold me tight to Your chest
That peace I may find in You alone
Settle within whether I be cursed or blessed.

O Israel that I may never stray as you did
Again and again dependent on the day
To walk away from Him, God forbid.
May my heart stand firm against the sway
That tries to snatch me from His hand
Let this sheep come home never again to stray

~Alaina Mathers~

April '09

THE JOYS OF WINTER!

Spring is in the air and our blood ;) However, winter is still blowing about us and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest. . .I love the snow and yes even the cold to a point. . .without the cold there is no reason for that cozy fire in the stove that is perfect for curling up next to with a good book and a nice cup of hot cider. Hmmm. Yes I do love the cold for that reason. .. among others.

So here are a couple of my favorite pictures from this winter. Both were taken on the drive out River Road West near Plains on my way to make taffy with my Gram. A wonderful day filled with fun and laughter. The final picture of that day is of us together with my cousin, Aletheia.

Unique

A thrill spirals down my spine
The first snowflake has fallen
For now I dread the day when
I will see that last one of the season

Smiling, I draw a deep cool breath of frosty air
Exhaling with a chuckle as my breath freezes
In mid-air so that I can not only feel it but see it
Such joy is only felt on a winter day

Snowflakes, each created perfect and unique
Sent down to earth to fall where God wills
As is each one of us, none of us the same,
Searching for the place God has for us to land

Spring air will warm the earth and the beauty
Of winter will fade, another season gone by
Snowflakes will cease to fall, but their purpose
Is fulfilled in replenishing the moisture for spring growth

So will our purpose be fulfilled in our season
Our qualities unique and perfected in our
Lord’s strength; Like the lovely snowflake
May we find our way in His grace and love.

~Alaina Mathers~

Written Feb 2009.

May we all realize God created us perfect and unique-

Just like the lovely snowflake!

The above drawing is my latest work. . well my latest work that is finished. . . ;) Yes I have started another piece, but don't look for it anytime soon . .. this piece took me nearly a year to finish and I'm sure this next one will take a substantial amount of time to finish as well. . . as I just play around with it for an hour or two here and there. . . I love this piece. It was inspired by a photo I'd found in a magazine several years ago and the idea has been rattling around my brain for a long time. I'm very pleased with the result. The little girl's name is Sophie as written on the wall and I think I'd like to write a story to go with this, but we'll see if that ever happens. . . though I do know Sophie's character would indeed be adorable and worth writing about. Finding the time and energy will be the challenge there. Hope you all enjoy!

RE: Afraid? Of What?

Okay so this goes out in respose to His Handmaiden's post. . . . it doesn't go along exactly with the post. . .but the title to this poem is the same as her post so it brought it too mind so I thought I'd share it . . .because I found it in Jesus Freaks it has everything to do with persecution of Christians and was written by a friend of a martyr. The martyr's name was Jack Vinson and his story is very short so I will share it as well

The bandit told the missionary,

"I'm going to kill you. Aren't you afraid?"

Jack Vinson replied simply,

"Kill me if you wish. I will go straight to God."

E.H Hamilton wrote the following poem after his friend was killed in 1931 in China

Afraid? Of What?

To feel the spirit's glad release?

To pass from pain to perfect peace?

The strife and strain of life to cease?

Afraid-of that?

Afraid? Of what?

Afraid to see the Savior's face

To hear His welcome and to trace

The glory gleam from wounds of grace?

Afraid- of that?

Afraid? Of what?

A flash, a crash, a pierced heart;

Darkness, light, O Heaven's art!

A wound of His a counterpart!

Afraid- of that?

Afraid? Of what?

To do by death what life could not-

Baptize with blood a stony plot,

Till souls shall blossom from the spot?

Afraid-- Of that?

Jehovah is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? Jehovah is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

~Psalm 27:1~

The Tear

As some of you know, I love poetry. Nearly everything about it writing, reading, or listening to it, I simply love poetry. So I thought I'd share some poetry with you. My absolute favorite poem is by Lord Byron and is called The Tear. (You can read it below) Therefore the theme of this poetry reading so to speak is tears. . . and no I'm not in depression. I simply think that the tear is an amazing thing that truly shows the strength of your emotion and passion for someone or something whether they are happy tears or sad tears or even angry tears. When you cry it means you truly cared for something or someone.

The Tear

When Friendship or Love our sympathies move,

When Truth in a glance should appear,

The lips may beguile with a dimple or smile,

But the test of affections the Tear.

Too oft is a smile but the hypocrite's wile

To mask detestation or fear;

Give me the soft sigh whilst the soul-telling eye

Is dimm'd for a time with a Tear.

Mild Charity's glow, to us mortals below,

Shows the soul from barbarity clear;

Compassion will melt where this virtue is felt,

And its dew is diffused in a Tear.

The man doom'd to sail with the blast of the gale,

Through billows Atlantic to steer,

As he bends o'er the wave which may soon be his grave,

The green sparkles bright with a Tear.

The soldier braves death for a fanciful wreath,

In Glory's romantic career;

But he raises the foe when in battle laid low,

And bathes every wound in a Tear.

If with high-bounding pride he return to his bride,

Renouncing the gore-crimsoned spear,

All his toils repaid, when embracing the maid,

From her eyelid he kisses the Tear.

Sweet scene of my youth! Seat of Friendship and Truth

Where love chased each fast-fleeting year,

Loth to leave thee, I mourn'd, for a last look I turn'd

But thy spire was scarce seen through a Tear.

Though my vows I can pour to my Mary no more,

My Mary to love once so dear,

In the shade of her bower I remember the hour

She rewarded those vows with a Tear.

By another possest, may she live ever blest!

Her name still my heart must revere

With a sigh I resign what I once thought was mine,

And forgive her deceit with a Tear.

Ye friends of my heart, ere from you I depart

This hope to my breast is most near;

If again we shall meet in this rural retreat,

May we meet, as we part, with a Tear.

When my soul wings her flight to the regions of night,

And my corse shall recline on its beir,

As ye pass by the tomb where my ashes consume,

Oh! Moisten their dust with a Tear.

May no marble bestow the splendour of woe,

Which the children of vanity rear;

No fiction of fame shall blazon my name,

All I ask- all I wish- is a Tear.

~By Lord Byron~

The pretty Rain from thos sweet Eaves

Her unintending Eyes-

Took her own Heart, including ours,

By innocent Suprise-

The wrestle in her simple Throat

To hold the feeling down

That vanquished her- defeated Feat-

Was the Fervor's sudden Crown

~ By Emily Dickinson ~

Okay so I ran out of poems about Tears that I liked. . . ;-D So I thought I'd end with one I wrote that's just a little odd, but that I love and read over and over just because.

Orange

Orange

Color of the rain

Falling from the sun

Rising from a geyser

Color of the steam

Gray

Blue Color of a dolphin

Jumping for the sky

Crawling after Daddy

Color of a baby

Pink

Yellow

Color of a smile

Bright and shining

Soft, loving, caring

Color of a hug

Indescribable

~By Alaina Mathers~

Enjoy!

Someday Soon

This post mostly goes out to my dear brother Remington, my best friend Katie, and all those other singles who are just waiting on God to bring them that special someone to have and to hold for the rest of their days. These are poems I have written as I have sat alone in the evenings after my family has gone to bed scattered with my floral photography of this summer. What can I say I'm a romantic at heart and though he's not here right now someday (soon I hope) he will be and I hope he will be all the things I have written about and more.

Someday Soon I’ll Stop Missing You
Tonight I wonder where you are,
Do you miss me?
Cause I miss you with all my heart.
It’s not even logical,
There’s no rhyme,
There’s no reason to this pain,
That has settled in my eyes.
But I miss you tonight anyway.
I want to feel your skin touch mine
Your fingertips to caress my hair,
Your lips to press against my cool brow,
I tremble at the mere thought,
You here with me.
Catching me when life hurts to much
Like it does tonight
Your healing touch to wipe away my tears
That fall silently ‘cause you’re not here
I want to hear you whisper goodbye
Your voice promising me we’ll be together soon
That you’ll never leave my side again
I need you tonight and you’re not here
How is it possible?
I miss you so much.
But how can I miss someone
I’ve never even met?
Is it possible?
Too long for my eyes to meet yours
When I don’t even know your name,
Someday it will be
We’ll remember the yesterdays
Spent holding hands tenderly
You will brush back my hair
As it blows in the wind
And I will be lost in your sweet eyes
You will hold my hand in yours
And I will give you my heart
Someday you will come.
Oh just let it be soon.
Come home soon to claim this heart
Come take my hand
So I can stop missing you.
So that my laughter can join yours
Someday soon come to this place
To walk with me along the river
Under the shining stars and full moon
We can talk of the sweet yesterdays
And the many tomorrows
Our dreams will join as our hearts do
Someday soon I hope to stop missing you.

A Moment in Time

What else is there today?
What is the meaning of it all?
How can I go on in this race?
How do I understand the whys?
Where is the answer to be found?
Where are your arms when I need them?
What do I do until you come and find me?
What is the meaning of your not being here now?
How does this love work?
How can I keep going without it?
Where is the softness of your lips on my brow?
Where are your hands when my tears fall silently?
What am I to do until you are here to wipe them away?
What will happen in this lifetime of mine?
Will it ever join yours?
Will you ever whisper sweet words in my ear?
When will the time be right for you to hold me?
When will you come and claim my heart?
All these questions asked remain unanswered,
But I will wait until the day the answers come
Until the day that your arms wrap me in sweet embrace
When my lips softly touch yours as you sigh
And brush my hair back from my face
And wipe away every tear that falls from my eye.

May I Give You Mine?
My heart trembles at the sight of you
Your presence steals any thought
You take my breath away
Do I turn your head?
Can you get lost in the blue of my eyes?
Does my soft touch feel like heaven?
I hope so but mostly I need to know
If you love me for the real me?
Do you want to know that I love to:
Dance in the rain
Laugh without abandon
Cuddle in front of a fire
Try to touch the stars.
I need to know that you will love me when:
I play in the dirt
Swim in the sea
Try to fly from the mountaintop
Will you join me or
Think I’ve gone crazy?
I need to know your dreams.
But do you want to know mine?

Do you love to:
Walk along the beach hand in hand
Go for long drives in the woods
Breathe in the scent of a spring rain
Try to rope the moon?
Do you need to know?
That I’ll love you forever
No matter what happens
I will follow you to the
Ends of the earth and beyond
I will be lost in your embrace
And never want to leave
I need to know if you:
Will you hold me for all time?
Catch me when I fall?
Brush away my tears?
I want to tell you everything
But will you give me your heart?
And may I give you mine?

Christ is my comfort each and everyday and keeps me going and loving, living, and more joyous than imaginable as well as at peace in learning contendedness (Is that a word?) where He has me planted. Even so it is fun to dream and write about the day when I will have someone by my side to go with, to love with, to live with, and to rejoice in the Lord with.

Darling Little Girl

I wrote the following poem when I was a juinor in highschool for Adeline. Rayia was pregnant with this sweet little one that we so love now. The above picture was taken last summer when Rayia and Jonathan visited while Jayme and Jessica were here. The day was very warm and we took Adeline and Titus to play in the small pool we have up town. I believe Adeline had fallen in the water and was a little unsure of being set down into it again even though she still wanted to play in it. The picture below was taken this last spring/summer when Rayia visited for the fourth of July.

Baby

Ten tiny fingers curl around my thumbs

Especially cute when smiling happily
Needin' hugs and lovin's all the time

Ten tiny toes just discovered
In need of instruction and loving guidance
Needing sleepy times on my lap with a story book
Yearning to roll, crawl, and eventually toddle about


Frowns and smiles to delight everyone around
It begs to be caressed, oh skin so soft
Needing comforting arms after crashing to the ground
Giggling and cooing in the most charming manner
Entangling my heart in love
Red rosy cheeks split with a grin
So dear to my heart you are sweet baby


Adeline has indeed proven to be dear to my heart as my loving little niece along with many of my sweet little cousins whose picture are shown below. What darling little girls I have been blessed with being able to be apart of their girlhoods.

Torrance, Aurora's oldest, sitting at her Aunt Mindy's

Gracie, Doug's youngest, napping at our house while Tara was babysitting them this summer.




Little Remember at Rem's birthday and below is sweet Haylee, Aurora's youngest girl.


Isabella and Ivy, Mindy's two girls, enjoying the day fishin with their Nana and Papa.

Here's is Cassie Jo, Aurora's 2nd girl.



Adeline again playing with Gram's kitty.

Girlhood
Welcomed with tears and oh so much joy
Sleepy times being held in gentle arms
Crawling after Daddy and copying Mommy
Coos, giggles, little words, and tiny steps
Hugs and Kisses; Laughter and love

Dancing across the sky in the living room
Tickling fingers and comforting arms
Lil’ Sis arrives welcomed the same but by three
Lost a tooth, first day of school, and new friends
Hugs and Kisses; Laughter and love

The above poem was written when I was a sophmore in highschool based on my own girlhood. It always amazes me when God blesses us with simple everyday things. There is a saying that goes something like this: Enjoy the little things in life because some day you'll look back and realize they were the big things. It is so true and a lesson that I often have to remind myself of.

Christ

Loving

Caring

Almighty

Comforting

Most High

Wonderful

Always

Faithful

Perfect

Awesome

Creator

Savior

Light

Glory

Abba

My Father and Friend

All I Need

Hands of Life

Tiny fingers grasping at life

Thumbs taste so good to small ones
First steps taken with fingers holding tight

Aglow with delight as little hands play patty-cake

Holding Mommy's hand to cross the street
Trying hard to make those hands draw

Fingers clutching Mama's flower

Twirling high in Daddy's arms

Thumb wars with cousins are so fun

Fingers tingle from a caterpillar's hairy legs

Hands waving furiously at Grandma and Grandpa

Peeking between fingers to see the suprise
Clasping hands in prayer before bed

Hand to foot in a cart wheel

Hands grip the steering wheel
A finger taps your shoulder lightly
Walking on a moonlit road, hand in hand
Arms linked, Daddy walks you down the aisle
Beach walks, fingers draw hearts in the sand
Hands massage outstretched stomach
Recieve a punch from a fist inside

Arms gently cradling a tiny babe
A yawn accompanies arms stretching

Reaching down fingers caress his forehead

Smiling with glee as his thumb slides into place

Hand in hand, you watch the children play

Fingers intertwine years down the road

There is wonder in the hands of life

~Alaina Mathers

Charcoal drawing also done by Alaina Mathers.